Stacey Dooley visiting mental health wards; my thoughts on this episode. 🧠🤯

Stacey dooley on mental health wards- the most recent episode on BBC iplayer.
She interviewed a lot of mental health patients and also witnessed people under immense distress having to be put in isolation and put under restraint which was very hard to watch.

I have struggled with my mental health since I was 15 years old and my mental health issues were caused by childhood trauma.

Trauma is the most common reason for mental health issues being experienced and diagnosed during later life.

The impact of childhood trauma has a significant impact on emotional development, brain development, future relationships, cognition and childhood trauma is linked to increased risk of chronic health conditions in later life.
This is a study from Harvard University studying the link between past trauma and chronic health conditions into later life.

Watching Stacey Dooley in mental health wards hit home with me not because I have been in one (although I was close in one point of my life) but because of what she discovered and the point that was made.

Mental health is getting more common especially in younger people and most of the severe mental health issues are due to trauma and instead of dealing with the trauma at a young age it is often ignored and during later life it recurs causing serious repercussions.

Stacey and other mental health professionals believe that if trauma was treated at a younger age that a lot of people wouldn’t not suffer with as serious mental health issues as they get older or difficulties with dealing their mental health and I agreed with this because I believe personally that if my trauma was dealt with at a younger age straight after it happened, then maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as much as I have during later life with both my physical health and my mental health.

My trauma was due to childhood trauma, so growing up I blocked out a lot of the bad memories; upon getting older I felt like my mind was invaded and I started remembering all these bad memories that I had compressed deep down within my subconscious and this was a very stressful and confusing time for me.

I went to numerous conciling sessions including family conciling but it didn’t work, only in college was I offered CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) sessions from a college councillor who was practicing CBT and I found it helped. When I went to university I was offered more CBT which helped me with the ability to manage my stress levels and keep on track with my moods and adapt healthy habits into my daily life to help with my mental health…

It has taken me until age 27 to be offered psychotherapy which is especially for trauma patients and those suffering PTSD. After spending my entire adolescence seeking help with my mental health I was quite understandably upset that this was not offered to me a lot earlier! Maybe if this was offered to me earlier for example after being diagnosed with CPTSD I might have not struggled as much!

I agree with the staff on the mental health ward in this programme and believe that the NHS need to seriously rethink the mental health sector especially when it comes to trauma. More therapies need to be offered, more alternative therapies such as mindfulness courses and community projects set up to support mental health survivors which have been proved to be a life support for those who suffer mental health difficulties or even those in crisis!

I really hope I see the mental health sector improving in the near future.

Indonesia is coming to Kew Gardens!

I saw this in my Gardens illustrated magazine so I thought I would share this fantastic news. Personally I have always wanted to visit Kew gardens and I have been fascinated with Orchids since I can remember- do to their odd flower shape and how many variations there are of them.
I’ve decided to also include some quick facts about orchids so you know how incredible they are!
I have also included what fantastic environmental work Kew gardens are doing which I think deserves all the sharing and praise we can give!

Dogs and mental health. 🐕🐕🐶🐶

Pets come with some powerful mental health benefits.

Many studies have shown that pets (especially dogs) can help with numerous issues ranging from depression, PTSD to addictions and loneliness.
Dogs can contribute to your happiness.  Studies show that dogs reduce stress, anxiety and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and improve your all-around health. For example, people with dogs have lower blood pressure and are less likely to develop heart disease—just playing with dogs has been shown to elevate oxytocin and dopamine, creating positive feelings and bonding for both the person and their pet.

For someone living with depression, there is so much to gain from having a dog.
For me my dogs give me a reason to get out of bed, they are there to keep me company on the bad days when I’m stuck in bed in pain, they cheer me up, they give me structure and purpose and something to look after and they help me feel calm and grounded when they are next to me- when I have one of my dogs in bed with me I feel so calm and relaxed, my brain switches off and I sleep so much better.
I love my girls! 🐶🐶🐕🐕

Matisse exhibition Lady Lever Art Gallery Feb 2020 and (some quick facts about the artist and his most famous pieces). 🖼🎨🎭👨‍🎨

These are a collection of my favourite pieces from the Matisse exhibition in the Lady Lever Art gallery- it is on until the beginning of March 2020.

Some quick facts about Matisse:

☆Henri Matisse  didn’t set out to become an artist. As a young man in Paris he studied law, passing his bar exam with distinction and even taking a job as a law clerk.

☆A bout of ill health changed the course of Matisse’s life and career forever. Suffering an acute attack of appendicitis at the age of twenty, he was left on temporary bed rest. During his recovery, Matisse’s mother, Anna Heloise, brought him an assortment of art supplies to help him pass the time, and he fell in love with painting.

☆He was born on New Year’s Eve in 1869 in Le Cateau-Cambrésis in northern France to middle-class grain merchants. 

☆Matisse studied with the French academic painter William-Adolphe Bouguereau in 1891 at the Académie Julian. 

☆ In 1892, Matisse left the academy after an unsuccessful year and struck up what would become a long and fruitful apprenticeship with the Symbolist painter Gustave Moreau, who nurtured the artist’s more experimental inclinations. 

☆ Among his greatest patrons were three American women – the salon-world grande dame Gertrude Stein and sisters Claribel and Etta Cone. The Cone sisters, whom Matisse called “my two Baltimore ladies,” together assembled one of the preeminent collections of his work in the world. 

☆ Matisse was one key leaders of Fauvism, the 20th century’s first avant-garde art movement. Active from roughly 1905 to 1910, Fauvism radically reinterpreted color as an expressive and structural element, divorced from literal description. “When I put down a green, it doesn‘t mean grass; and when I put down a blue, it doesn’t mean the sky,” Matisse declared. 

☆His early paintings were surprisingly conservative, but Matisse experienced an artistic about-face when his friend the Australian painter John Peter Russell introduced him to the work of Vincent van Gogh in 1897. 

☆For the public and some critics, especially in the US, Matisse’s radical use of color was outrageous, even offensive. Reactions could be passionate – in 1913, when Blue Nude (1907–08) traveled to Chicago, students at the Art Institute burned an effigy of the work.

☆While living in Vence, France, at the Villa Le Rêve in the 1940s, Matisse had three cats Minouche, Coussi and La Puce whom he fed pieces of brioche every morning.

☆ Besides his cats, Matisse adored doves, which he purchased from vendors along the Seine. The dove shape appears in many of his cut-outs and it was one of his birds on which Picasso modeled his Dove of Peace (1949). In his last days, Matisse gifted his precious birds to the Spanish artist.

☆ In the last years of his life Matisse was confined to a wheelchair. As painting became increasingly difficult physically, the artist turned to his cut-out technique. He made shapes of paper with a scissor, which he then arranged using a long stick in a technique he called “painting with scissors.” 

Matisse’s most famous work:

Here are the 10 most famous art pieces by Henri Matisse.


Woman in a purple coat (1937).

This is a portrait of Lydia Delectorskaya who was Matisse’s muse and companion in his later life. Amélie Noellie Parayre, the wife of Henri Matisse, suspected an affair between the two leading to her separating from her husband. In the painting, the artist depicts Lydia in an exotic Moroccan costume, surrounded by a complex of abstract design and exotic color.  Woman in a Purple Coat is among the most renowned works in the final groups of oil paintings in Matisse’s career, after which he quit painting in favor of creating paper cut-outs.


The Open window (1905).

This painting depicts the view out of the window of the apartment of Matisse in Collioure, on the southern coast of France. In it, he represents the interior of the room, the window itself, the balcony and the harbor view, with a distinctly different handling of the brush. The Open Window is one of Matisse’s most famous paintings in Fauvism and it is considered an iconic work of early modernism.


Goldfish and Pallete (1914).

During his visit to Morocco in 1912, Matisse noticed that local population, after getting high on opium, would day dream for hours staring at goldfish bowls. When he returned to Paris he installed a goldfish bowl in his studio. Goldfish appear in 9 of his paintings and this is the most famous among them. Matisse initially sketched himself, holding a rectangular palette, just as Paul Cézanne did in an 1885 self-portrait. However, all that remains of him in the final painting is his thumb on the palette. Goldfish and Palette shared a secret link with Picasso’s 1915 Harlequin, which is now interpreted as a barely perceptible self-portrait on a rectilinear canvas his Harlequin alter ego is clutching. Matisse and Picasso, who were close friends as well as arch-rivals, revered Cezanne.


Luxury, calm and pleasure (1904).

Divisionism was the characteristic style in Neo-Impressionist painting defined by the separation of colors into individual dots or patches which interacted optically. It was pioneered by Paul Signac and Georges Seurat. This painting, which is probably based on the view from Signac’s house in Saint-Tropez, uses the Divisionist technique. Luxe, Calme et Volupté is the most famous painting of Matisse in the Neo-Impressionist style. The following year he abandoned the style and became one of the pioneers of Fauvism.


Woman with a hat (1905).

This portrait of Matisse’s wife, Amélie Noellie Parayre, was at the center of the controversy. Its loose brushwork; unfinished quality; and vivid, non-naturalistic colors shocked the public and the critics. Woman with a Hat went on to become one of the most renowned masterpieces of Henri Matisse.


Bathers by the river (1917).

Henri Matisse considered this painting as one of the most important of his career. He worked on it at intervals over 8 years and it passed through a variety of transformations which reflect his new interest in Cubism, an art style he had rejected. With its restricted palette and severely abstracted forms, Bathers by a River is strikingly different from most of the other works of Matisse. It is much analysed and has been a subject of intense scrutiny. That it was painted during the years of World War I adds to the interest in the painting.


Blue nude [Souvenir of Biska]- (1907).

Matisse was working on a sculpture when it shattered accidentally and the broken pieces inspired him to create the most controversial work of his career, Blue Nude. When it was first displayed in 1907 at the Société des Artistes Indépendants, it shocked the French public. The painting later created an international sensation when its effigy was burned in 1913 at the Armory Show in Chicago. Nu bleu is now considered a pivotal work of Matisse’s career. It inspired Pablo Picasso to create one of his most renowned masterpieces, Les Demoiselles d’Avignon (The Young Ladies of Avignon).


The Red Studio (1911).

This painting captures the workshop of Henri Matisse with paintings, sculptures and ceramics scattered around his studio. In it the artist has reduced the walls and floor to one continuous sheet of uniform red. Matisse remarked on the relevance of the color, “I find that all these things . . . only become what they are to me when I see them together with the color red”The Red Studio is considered a pivotal work in the history of art and it was ranked number five in a 2004 poll of 500 art experts for the most influential modern art work of all time.


The joy of life (1906).

The Joy of Life was regarded as the most radical painting of its day and it was the breakthrough work of Matisse. It depicts several nude women and men in a landscape drenched with vivid color. A group of dancing figures can be seen in the background. Matisse broke conventions of western painting in this artwork by using techniques like shifting perspectives leading to the painting being out of scale. There was much public outrage when the work was first displayed. However, Le bonheur de vivre is now considered the greatest masterpiece in Fauvism and as one of the pillars of early modernism.


Dance (1910).

Along with Music, this painting was created as part of a two painting commission for Russian art collector Sergei Shchukin. It shows five dancing figures, painted in a strong red, against a simplified green landscape and deep blue sky. The painting exudes “primitive” energy and has been deliberately painted in an unsophisticated and childish way. La Danse is considered a key point in the development of modern paintingremains hugely influential, and is the most famous work of Henri Matisse.

Personally my favourites are: joy of life, luxury calm and pleasure, the open window, but I also love the portraits of women he did in the cutting method.

Which of these is your favourite? Do you like Henri Matisse? Comment below.

I hope you enjoyed this short post.

Until next time,

Faye x

Visit to Lady Lever Art Gallery- Port Sunlight.

Yesterday I visited the Lady Lever art gallery (there was also a Matisse exhibition on which I was very happy about).

Information about the Lady Lever Art Gallery.

Picture from the lady lever website.

The Lady Lever Art Gallery is regarded as one of the finest art galleries in Europe. It’s located in model village, Port Sunlight in Wirral, a place rich in architectural charm. 

The houses are simply gorgeous! I have visited here a few times as my friend lives locally. *Picture taken by me.
This is the statue outside the Lady lever art gallery- picture taken by me.
I love these types of houses!
I love the roof!

The gallery was founded by William Hesketh Lever (1851-1925) and is dedicated to his wife Elizabeth, Lady Lever. Lever wanted to share his collections with the public and the works on display at the gallery have been personally selected. 

Inside the gallery, visitors will find the best of Lever’s personal art collection and the finest collection of Wedgwood jasperware anywhere in the world. The Pre-Raphaelite painting collection is internationally renowned and features works by Millais, Rossetti, Burne-Jones and Holman Hunt. 

Here are the pictures I took of the exhibits:

A gorgeous fireplace.
This was the top of the same fireplace above! I love the Angel’s!
This was the same room. I loved all the walls, such incredible detail in the entire room.
Me in the room. I love a gorgeous mirror and fireplace.
This is Lady Lever (William Lever’s wife).
This is Willaim Lever who founded the gallery.
My mum loved this one. It looked like a scene from heaven Arch angel Michael on a chariot.
This gorgeous vanity cabinet was in the Japanese section.
Another gorgeous mirror- this was in the Japanese section also.
I loved this buddha (or what I thought looked like a buddha) candle holder.
I simply had to take a picture of this beautiful little girl!
I loved this portrait of this beautiful and elegant lady!
Another beautiful mirror!!
This is Pan, in Greek mythology is part man, part goat. was the god of wild groves, shepherds, and flocks. Born in Arcadia to Hermes and a Dryad, Pan was a precocious child whose goat’s feet and horned head delighted gods, but startled mortals.
For most of the time, the great god was both an amusing and amiable presence – but he loved his naps even more than he loved his nymphs; which explains why the Ancient Greeks believed it was fairly dangerous to disturb them. Once upset, Pan was known to be able to let out an angry, blood-curdling shout which inspired a sudden sensation of fear and anxiety in everyone unfortunate enough to hear it.
Pan possessed enormous strength. He could also run for long periods of time and was impervious to injury. He could transform objects into different forms and was able to teleport himself from Earth to Mount Olympus and back. He is depicted as very shrewd with a wonderful sense of humor.

Check out the next post for the Matisse exhibition.

I hope you enjoyed my photos.

Endometriosis rant/poem: I am tired, why should I have to decide. 💛💛💛💛

I am trying to be strong if not for myself but more so for others around me, but I am tired!

I am tired of not knowing the full extent of what is going on in my own body,

I am no doctor or medical professional but I am not stupid, don’t I deserve to know about my body- the body I live, eat, sleep, love and breathe in.

I am trying to be strong but I am tired,

Tired of being in pain,

Tired of being ignored,

Tired of being dismissed as either difficult or overreacting- this is my body and I know something is wrong.

This is NOT NORMAL, I want to shout from the rooftops…


Why do I feel if this was a man’s issue it would be solved already instead of years of being dismissed and ignored.

My uterus hurts, my vagina hurts, my back hurts, and most of all my heart hurts.

It is already depressing and infuriating the way I am treated simply being a woman but now this condition has added to the judgement, and social pressure added onto me of simply being a woman.

Why am I defined by my ability to reproduce, to have or want children? And especially at the age I am… why has the pressure increased…is there a timeline I don’t know about?

Why should my treatment and most importantly my getting accurate treatment to improve my health to give me a good quality of life depend on my decision to have children???


What if I decide I don’t want children and you know what- I shouldn’t have to be pressured.

Pressured by friends, family, women the same age as me, doctors,

I will not define myself by societal pressures and have a child just because I’ve reached a certain age…

I shouldn’t have to decide right now.

All I want to decide is how to make my life better and what help I need because I cannot do this on my own, although I’m trying and failing.

Endo is judgement,

Endo is pressure,

Endo is painful,

Endo is heart breaking,

But still I continue to fight and defy.

Letter updates from WWF (& about the Cerrado); thanks to adopting an elephant!🐘💗🥰

Even the envelopes are pretty, I love them! I was so excited to open these this morning.

My amazing mum adopted an elephant for me for my Christmas present so I receive letter updates from the WWF on the elephants and the rest of their conservation work.

This came out of the green envelope. I had a newsletter about the elephants,a children’s magazine on exploring the cerrado which I actually love myself, and a news update on the Cerrado. **I’m going to cover the Cerrado below and what the WWF are trying to do to save it.

This came out of the blue envelope. It is a little magazine covering everything from diet to ways to get involved.

My elephant! 🐘🐘🐘

Here is an actual photo of my elephant. Her name is ‘Namunyak’ and she is from the Mara ecosystem in Kenya.

Namunyak is the leader of her herd! (Yes!💗😍👊)

She has been tracked by the WWF since November 2015 and has given them lots of vital and interesting information about her herds movements and behaviour.

Numunyak makes all the decisions (like any leader would), including where to feed, bathe and rest. Thanks to signals from her collar, the WWF now know that she and her herd spend most of their time in the hilly forests around Olarro and Siana conservancies and that they are often joined by other herds.

Here are some pictures of the Olarro and Siana conservancies.

Groups of around 100 elephants might mingle together for a while in a big social gathering- a kind of jumbo networking event!

In the Maasai Mara, conservancy land owners pool their lands together and agree measures that allow for the free movement of wildlife, including the removal of fences- the majority of Africa’s reserves are fenced.

The conservancy often run as ecotourism ventures (Olarro you can actually find on facebook), in which local landowners recieve a monthly land lease payment and tourists can see elephants and other incredible animals in their natural habitat. Even though they’re not state protected, conservancy lands can be thriving wildlife havens, as Namunyak’s movements seem to show.

She and her clan tend to stick to the same core area between Olarro and Siana, with occasional trips to other neighbouring conservancies. WWF have also discovered that Namunyak occasionally raids crop fields owned by small-scale farmers near the conservancies- not only does she lead her own herd to the raids, they sometimes join with another herd to form a bigger group, making it harder for the farmers to deter them!

– She’s so clever and mischievous I love her!! 😍😍

Elephants are scared of bees and hate the smell of chilli so both of these measures are used to deter the elephants from crop yielding. Fences surrounding crops that are saturated with chili powder, generally mixed with waste engine oil, can be a strong deterrent to marauding elephants, particularly when constructed and managed strategically.

If farmers choose to keep bees they can also make a profit selling the honey from the beekeeping which acts as an extra income.

WWF are also supporting ranger teams locally to these areas who can quickly respond to calls from farmers to avoid a potential conflict between people and elephants.

The next important project is assessing the Mara ecosystem elephant population census which is due to take place this year- this is an airborne assessment.

The Mara is part of the Mara-Serengeti, which stretches 25,000 sq km across Kenya and Tanzania. There are no fences between the Mara and the Serengeti and the elephants often move from one place to the other- so they are seen as a single Mara-Serengeti population.

Thanks to conservation efforts this population has been stable and increasing since 1984 and the WWF are hoping that the census will show that this is still the case.

Cerrado: info and how the WWF are trying to help.

The Cerrado in South America covers a quarter of Brazil’s national territory, two million square km and is the second largest landscape in South America and the most biologically rich savanna in the world- containing 5% of the world’s species and Brazil’s biodiversity.

Cerrado acts as a water catchment and alone provides Brazil with 3 major aquifers and 6 of 8 of the largest watersheds in Brazil and is vital for water conservation in Brazil.

50% of it’s original vegetation cover has already disappeared and less than 3% of its area is effectively protected!!

It acts as a bridge between the Amazon, Pantanal, the Atlantic Forest and Caatinga.

The Cerrado is home to 30% of Brazil’s biodiversity including it’s own big five- jaguar’s, maned wolves, giant ant eaters, giant armadillos and tapirs yet right now, an area the size of Greater London is being cleared every 2 months to grow the world’s crops.

If land conversion continues at the current rate, the Cerrado could be gone in the next decade!

You might not realise it but food production is now the leading cause of deforestation and is responsible for almost 60% of global biodiversity loss.

In Latin America one of the biggest problems linked to a global increase in meat and dairy consumption is clearance of natural habitats for cattle pasture in areas such as the Amazon.

The Cerrado is also hugely important for soya bean production!

Soy is grown in vast amounts, primarily to feed the pigs and chickens we eat. The UK alone consumes more than 3.3 million tonnes of soy each year and 75% is used for animal feed.

Soy can be grown sustainably, but 77% of UK soy imports currently come from Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay- countries where there is a high risk of deforestation.

How are WWF trying to help?

The way the WWF is trying to help is by…

☆Introducing practical measures to change the way soy is farmed.

Sustainable farming is crucial as there is very little of the Cerrado and Amazon left.

Sustainable soy farming includes creating wildlife corridors between large-scale agricultural areas and leaving land unfarmed at the edges of rivers to provide space for wildlife. WWF are helping local cooperative in the Cerrado to make a living from other sustainability harvested products such as cashews, baru nuts and paqui fruit. They are also pushing the UK government to ban the sale of any food that causes deforestation and are asking businesses to help.

In 2017, an alliance of WWF and more than 60 NGO’s in Brazil released a Cerrado Manifesto calling for investors and companies to take action.

Read the manifesto at:

Numerous manufacturers and over 140 companies including Aldi, Lidl, M&S, Morrisons, Sainsburys, Tesco and Waitrose have signed a statement of support.

Visit the WWF website to read more and support a vital cause.

Until next time,

Faye x

Common houseplants on my wishlist. 🌿🌱⚘🌵

Since the weather has been so bad near me (including storm Dennis and Ciara) I have been getting frustrated because I haven’t been able to get into my garden as gardening is my therapy and helps me to relax and I love putting flowers out there to help the wildlife especially the pollinators.

I have been thinking about putting house plants in my bedroom for a while now, I have some spotted around the house that I have given my mum over the years however, due to the bad weather I decided to go for it make a decision I’m starting my collection.

I started with a peace lily because I had a peace lily in my old house and I love them very much.

Far left is peace lily.

I was given a beautiful cactus that flowers if I take care of it from my nana and the plant terranium from my brother for my birthday and the rest I’ve picked up cheaply from my local supermarket where my mum works.

My collection is coming along well.

My windowsill looks amazing but of course I want more!!

I have a house plant wishlist!

My bedroom goals are:

I think I definitely need to make more room though first! 😂😂🙈🙈