I am trying to be strong if not for myself but more so for others around me, but I am tired!
I am tired of not knowing the full extent of what is going on in my own body,
I am no doctor or medical professional but I am not stupid, don’t I deserve to know about my body- the body I live, eat, sleep, love and breathe in.
I am trying to be strong but I am tired,
Tired of being in pain,
Tired of being ignored,
Tired of being dismissed as either difficult or overreacting- this is my body and I know something is wrong.
This is NOT NORMAL, I want to shout from the rooftops…
MY VAGINA HURTS (ALL THE TIME)!!!
Why do I feel if this was a man’s issue it would be solved already instead of years of being dismissed and ignored.
My uterus hurts, my vagina hurts, my back hurts, and most of all my heart hurts.
It is already depressing and infuriating the way I am treated simply being a woman but now this condition has added to the judgement, and social pressure added onto me of simply being a woman.
Why am I defined by my ability to reproduce, to have or want children? And especially at the age I am… why has the pressure increased…is there a timeline I don’t know about?
Why should my treatment and most importantly my getting accurate treatment to improve my health to give me a good quality of life depend on my decision to have children???
What if I decide I don’t want children and you know what- I shouldn’t have to be pressured.
Pressured by friends, family, women the same age as me, doctors,
I will not define myself by societal pressures and have a child just because I’ve reached a certain age…
I shouldn’t have to decide right now.
All I want to decide is how to make my life better and what help I need because I cannot do this on my own, although I’m trying and failing.
Endo is judgement,
Endo is pressure,
Endo is painful,
Endo is heart breaking,
But still I continue to fight and defy.