Chasing the green dream

A nutty welsh woman in a modern world on a positive transformation dealing with mental health issues chasing the ultimate dream, the simple happy life in the countryside.

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Guided meditation for anxiety.

On 11th Jan 2020 By Faye bowers

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❇Update on how today's gynecologist appointment went (in short).❇ ○Had major panic attack before going in as they said I couldn't bring my mum with me who I always bring to big appointments like this because she is my rock & support & endo is a difficult disease as it is but medical appointments make me especially anxious due to being let down, ignored & patronized for so long. I cried A LOT, they eventually agreed and whilst waiting to go in it took me a while to calm down with the help from my mum because I'd worked myself up so much. ○Gynecologist has given me stronger stomach protectors as the pain meds are affecting my stomach too much. ○ I do have adenomysosis which is rare in women who have never been pregnant before. ○He has referred me to a pain clinic. ○ The majority of my pain is due to the Endometriosis growing behind my uterus which is difficult to get to so they are sending me to a specialist in Arrow Park Liverpool (a training hospital) as it is very difficult to get Endometriosis from behind there which is so close to the bowel, with a risk of perpetrating the bowel if not done by a specialist. ➡️I am now very exhausted, overwhelmed on the train home. I am of course happy that this is a step in the right direction, but I am also very tired that I've had to fight so hard to get this far and I'm scared of the journey ahead. #endometriosis #endowarrior #endoispain #endoawareness #endometriosisawareness #pain #anxiety #generalizedanxietydisorder #hospital #wrexhamhospital #gynecology #gynecologist #mentalhealthwarrior

Preparing for what I want to cover during my gynecologist appointment as I always get really frustrated & anxious and they always talk down to me when I'm there. I want them to finally answer my concerns & help me. #endowarrior #endometriosis #endowarriors #gynecologist #gyne #wrexhamhospital #nhs #anxious #anxiety #gad #generalisedanxietydisorder

Love this obelisk that my friend bought me for my garden. 😍💗 I'm going to put it in a pot and grow some climbing plants up it, maybe some clematis. 🌷⚘🌱 #gardening #gardener #obelisk #present #friends #grateful #blessed #thankful #flowers #flower #plants #planting

#selfcare #selfmaintenance #selfcarematters #selfworth #selflove #selfcareday #selfcarefirst #selfcarethreads #selfcaretips #selfcareeveryday #selfcarepage #selfcarehacks

This is definitely me today. I am very tired with being woken up at 5ish this morning by my noisy rats plus I didn't sleep all that well due to my anxiety of worrying about my upcoming gynecologist appointment and I am quite emotional about what's going on with Elsa. #rats #ratmom #ratmum #tired #chronicfatiguewarrior #chronicfatigue #endometriosis #endowarrior #gynecologistappointment #coffee #coffeeislife #coffeedaily #morningcoffee #anxiety #anxietywarrior #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #majordepression #majordepressivedisorder #depression #mondaymorning

#positivevibes #positivevibe #positivity #gif #positiveenergy #sendingpositivity #positivethoughts #love #care

Here's all my rat gang now. 😍😍🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀 all 5 of them. #rats #ratsofinsta #ratsareawesome #ratsofinstagram #ratsaspets #ratmum #ratmummy #ratmom #ratmummy

Lovely BBQ & salad after work today. 😀🍽🍷 I've had quorn peppered steaks on the bbq, courgettes, aubergine and a beef tomato with a spinach, watercress and beetroot salad with some avocado, goats cheese and extra virgin Spanish olive oil. Also a glass of rosė. 🙂🙂😍😍😋😋🍽🍽🍽🍷🍷 #vegetarian #vegetarianbbq #bbq #sundaynight #dinner #quorn #salad #summerfood #sunny #yum #happy #healthy

I have struggled with acne since I was a teenager and still due to my PCOS. I used to be so bad that I wouldn't leave the house without putting make up on because I would not only beat myself up so much calling myself ugly, unworthy and comparing myself to others with clear beautiful skin, but I would also make my anxiety worse by worrying what others thought of me. I would be constantly seeking validation from others, I felt I had to hide my skin so not to be judged negatively.... But upon getting older I've realised, if they don't judge me negatively about my skin, those same people will find something else to judge so why bother. My acne does not define me, it does not make me ugly, it does not make me less pretty than others, it doesn't mean I'm not loved, it is me, I can't help it, it doesn't make me dirty,.... I am a pretty, intelligent, and beautiful person in despite of it AND actually peoples judgements of me are actually none of my business. There are people out there who will accept me for who I am and those people I open my heart to. I will no longer hide myself to satisfy unrealistic societal needs. Imperfection is beautiful and so am I. #acne #letsnormaliseacne #normaliseacne #pcos #polycysticovariansyndrome #polycysticovaries #pcoswarrior #hormonalacne #skin #skinproblems

The wheel is getting used!! 😅😅💗💗🐀🐀 #wheel #ratwheel #exercise #rats #ratsaspets #ratsareawesome #ratmom #ratmum #ratmummy #ratmommy #ratsofinstagram #ratsofinsta

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