Morphine patches (the only thing helping with my pain levels- Endometriosis) has now been taken away from me.

Since coming out of the hospital (I’ve been out for 2-3 weeks now), the morphine patches have been the only way that I’ve been coping with my pain.

I’ve been managing with my pain for the past two weeks but this week (1st August-9th) I have been struggling.

I managed to work on Monday but due to having no morphine patches left I came into work for an afternoon shift and I couldn’t even start my shift because the pain hit me like a freight train and I ended up crying my eyes out and going home.

I’ve now spent Tuesday- Friday at home yet again struggling to manage my pain.

I was expecting my morphine patches today (Friday) but apparently because I have gone through them so fast because I sweat so much and am active plus they don’t stick on too well they have refused to give me anymore.

Now I am more than upset trying to think of how I am going to manage working with my pain levels so high.

I am using my CBD oil, cold spray, period patches, tense machine and all I have and I’m still struggling.

What do I do now?

Why do they have to make it so difficult?!

Faye xxx

Rushed to hospital because no-one would help me with my endometriosis pain levels. πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ

2 weeks ago I was rushed into hospital because my pain had reached an all time high.

Even after asking for help from everyone I could (my doctors, gynecologists, pain clinic), they let me fend for myself with no help which ended up with me being rushed into the hospital.

I felt my pain progressively getting worse for 3 months, I tried everything, I tried control the pain on my side and also asked for medical help but I was refused, my referral to the pain clinic was rejected because of covid-19 and because they take my surgery (which may take up to a year) as ‘other treatment’ therefore I’m not entitled to go to the pain clinic for any further help.

I was just about to go to work on a Monday afternoon and I collapsed through being in so much pain. I was screaming the house down, I couldn’t cope, I’d never had that amount of pain before, my mum called NHS helpline and then was advised to call an ambulance.

I was rushed into hospital, already been given morphine and gas and air.

I was left in a&e for about 2 hours and then put in a treatment room.

I was left in this treatment room crying and yelling in pain for over 2 hours; the nurses told me they had called the doctor from the labour ward and he was going to see me first.

When the doctor finally came to see me he came in shouting and balling at me, telling me to relax and telling me that because I’m not relaxing I was making my pain worse and that he wouldn’t waste his time rushing me into theatre because my stomach wasn’t hard??

He then carried on shouting at me saying he didn’t know what was wrong with me and asked what I wanted.

With my eyes swollen as I’d been crying for hours, I begged him to take the pain away and he told the nurses to put me to bed with a paracetamol IV drip. They left me unattended in bed until the following morning.

When the morning came I told my mum and she was fuming and told me to speak to the head of the ward and complain about him, and I did- I have put up with so much mistreatment with having endometriosis as it is, I didn’t expect it whilst I was crying in pain and rushed into the hospital plus I did not want him to treat anyone else like this… it was completely unacceptable.

I stayed in for a few days waiting for blood test results, an internal scan, and whilst all this was happening they barely dealt with my pain.

Even though previously the pain clinic at the hospital refused to help me and rejected my referral, because now I was inpatient they came to see me and gave me morphine patches. They started me off at 5mg (I told them that it wasn’t working but they didn’t listen).

I was sent home with just the morphine patches and I was told my endometriosis hadn’t gotten any worse and they couldn’t explain how my pain had gotten worse???

How could they tell my pain hadn’t got any worse without keyhole surgery? Answer is they couldn’t.

So I stayed off for the rest of the week since I came home on Thursday and I went back to work on the Monday.

Going to hospital has made me realise the mistreatment of patients like myself who have endometriosis doesn’t even stop when your rushed in to a&e. Even though endometriosis is considered as one of the most painful conditions there is, there is still so much misunderstanding, lack of research and most importantly EMPATHY!

Faye xxx

I love scents, they help my anxiety.

How can you tell I’m obsessed with my scents and smellies (what I call scented items)?

When payday comes I buy a new candle (although I have loads already), an amazing reed diffuser recommended by a customer, more room spray that I have had before and smells amazing and lavender air freshener (not pictured).

Now I am sitting in bed, home from a late shift smelling my new Reed diffuser from @airwickuk that I haven’t bought before, that smells divine, and it is really helping my anxiety,  helping me to relax and wind down for the night. ☺




Some more flowers for my garden: viola and clematis.

Β€See previous post.

As well as buying the cyclamen’s, I also picked up these beauties.

β˜† A yellow viola because it’s cute, it was only Β£1 and reminds me of the singing flowers in Alice in wonderland.

β˜† Two more clematis as my woodland strawberries mischievously died for no apparent reason (I was quite upset about it) and since my purple clematis has blossomed and I watched an episode of @gardensworld I am now obsessed with clematis- I can’t get enough of them.

I finally got my hand on some cyclamen’s. πŸ₯°πŸ˜πŸŒ·

After reading about cyclamen’s a few months ago in a gardens_illustrated magazine I was hooked and so fascinated with these plants and I REALLY wanted them!

Today was my lucky day.

A customer went through my checkout with them and when I finished work I ran to the plant section and prayed their would still be some left for me.

I WAS IN LUCK, there were only 2 left!

So I took them both to the self checkout tills with such a smile on my face.

The flowers are stunning and even the leaves look like love hearts- what do you think of them?

I CANNOT WAIT to put these into my garden.

A little bit about cyclamen’s.

Cyclamens are grown for their pretty, scented flowers, reminiscent of an up swept ballerina skirt. The five-petaled flowers come in shades of pink, white or purple.

It is one of the most common houseplants, especially popular during the Christmas season. One of the reasons why people love this plant is because it will bring colour and beauty to the home without much effort. Cyclamens will flower all year round, depending on the species.

Cyclamens are also a favourite in garden beds because they are hardy and can tolerate cold climates. Plus, they are low maintenance and pest resistant. Cyclamen does best in rich soils with high humus content that drains freely.

This delicate beauty was so popular in the past, that it now considered endangered in the wild. Due to excessive harvesting for horticultural purposes, it is rare to come across cyclamens in their native environments. As a result, conservation methods have been introduced to keep the cyclamen from being extinct. Instead of digging up these plants illegally, it is recommended that people buy their cyclamens from established nurseries, where they are propagated without harm done to the wild plants.

Fun facts about Cyclamens

  • Cyclamen is also known as β€œsowbread,” as it fed to pigsΒ  to enhance the flavour of pork.
  • The name Cyclamen comes from the Greek word β€œkuklos,” meaning circle.
  • Cyclamens have been used in traditional herbal medicine to heal wounds and boils.
  • During the Renaissance, the ear-shaped leaves were thought to heal ear aches.
  • In the late 16th century, cyclamen was used to induce childbirth.
  • These plants areΒ toxic to dogs and cats.
  • In the language of flowers, cyclamen symbolize departure; they would be a perfect gift for someone who is retiring or relocating.

Why don’t you add them to your garden?

Love, Faye xxx

How to create your own “Nature paradise”- tips from Dave Goulson.

Want to do your bit for the planet by transforming your garden into a beautiful wildlife haven?

Then check out this feature written by Dave Goulson in Countryfile magazine.

I will summarise it for you here OR you can visit the countryfile website to read the entire article.

Start of the article; as soon as I sas this page I recognised the garden as Dave Goulson’s as I have him on twitter and I have his books.
He starts the article off by describing his gardening style and how it blooms and blossoms in summer and how important insects are for your garden.

Selecting insect-friendly plants.

The first step Turn in your garden into a haven for insects is to choose the right plants. Flowers of all to attract in sex some 300 million years ago so you might think about all the flowers would be good for insects but sadly this isn’t so.

Plant breeders have tinkled with flowers over many years, selecting double varieties, larger blooms, unusual colours and so on, and in doing so have often created flowers that have lost their original purpose and they no longer attract insects.

Most annual bedding plants such as busy lizzies, begonias pansies, and petunias are hopeless for insects as they are most double varieties which have extra petals instead of the pollen producing anthers.

The next few pages pictured from the article are recommended flowers by Dave Goulson to attract insects into your garden.

Other ways to attract wildlife:

Aside from growing the right flowers, there are many other ways you can entice more wildlife to come and live with you.

Bee hotels provide nest sites for some solitary bees, while a hoverfly lagoon might attract some types of hoverfly that have aquatic Larvae. You can also buy bug hotels for your garden, ladybug houses and butterfly feeding stations.

If you have enough room in your garden, ponds are of course wonderful habitats to add for insects such as dragonflies, damselflies, caddisflies and Whirligig Beetles.

A compost heap bull team with insect life. If you have room for a flowering fruit tree even, a small one you’ll provide blossoms for pollinators and a host of nooks and crannies for insects to live as well getting your own zero-food-miles fresh fruit.

Of course don’t use insecticides, there’s no need if you have a healthy garden with natural pest control such as, ladybirds and lacewings, you can easily have a chemical-free garden.

In my garden the additions I would like to add is:

  • More bee houses.
  • Butterfly feeding station.
  • Ladybug Station.
  • Fruit trees.
  • I’d love a pond but I don’t have room so I may look into how to build a DIY pond or hoverfly lagoon.

I hope you enjoyed this article and find it helpful.

Happy gardening!

Love, Faye xxx

Wildlife checklist: garden insects to look out for this summer. β˜€οΈ

Countyfile magazine has a handy little list you can use to keep an eye on the insects in your garden this summer to see how well its doing which I thought would be handy to share. πŸ˜ƒ

I’ve already spotted:

  1. Seven-spotted ladybird
  2. Black Garden ant
  3. Small tortoiseshell butterfly
  4. Southern-hawker dragonfly
  5. Common carder bee
  6. Common wasp
  7. White-tailed bumblebee
  8. Red-tailed bumblebee

That’s 8 out of 16. Not bad going.

How many can you spot?

Let us know in the comments?

Faye xxx

Checking my garden before work: clematis, tomatoes & gladioli.

Checking my garden before I go to work.

β˜†My purple clematis (my first clematis) has finally come to flower and has two amazing flowers- I can’t wait to see the rest. It’s in a pot with a Virginia creeper and some sweet peas.

β˜†I have two big pots of tomatoes one is growing massively and the other isn’t as big BUT is growing tomatoes which you can see on the picture-Β  I’m super excited! I love tomatoes!

β˜†A big beautiful yellow flower has appeared in my wildflower patch I am yet to identify. I love it.

β˜† The orange flowers I love that  flower every year (South African) have now come to flower and bring some vibrancy to the wildflower colour.

β˜†  Finally but not least as I am the most excited about these…
MY GLADEOLI ARE COMING TO FLOWER!! I’ve planted so many different colours and I’ve never seen them in real life, I’m so excited to see them all in full flower.

Love, Faye xxx

Recipe for a gorgeous Gooseberry Soda. πŸ˜‹

When is better to try out a refreshing soda recipe than on a hot summers day to enjoy sitting relaxing in the sun.

As we have plenty of sunny days ahead I thought I’d share this recipe from my most recent countryfile magazine.

Gooseberry soda.


Make approximately 750ml.

– 350mg very ripe, green gooseberries.

– 2 Β½ tbsp honey

-450ml soda water or sparkling mineral water

– Ice to serve with (if you like)


1. Put the gooseberries in a blender with a splash of water to help loosen them up a bit, and pulse into a thick purΓ©e.

2. Using a large spoon, push the purΓ©e through a wire mesh sieve suspended over a large jug to extract the bright green delicious juice. Once as much juice has been extracted as possible, discard the pips and tough skins that have been left behind. You should end up with around 300ml juice (if you have much less than that, then just put a smaller amount of soda water in at the end so the flavour doesn’t get diluted too much).

3. Add the honey to the juice and stir until dissolved. You can add a little more or reduce the amount to taste if you like; the riper your gooseberries are, the less you’ll need. Top with the soda water and gently stir to combine.

4. Pour the soda into a sterilised bottle, seal and pop in the fridge to chill. Serve cold, over plenty of ice. It will keep happily in the fridge for a couple of days, but may need a gentle shake before serving if it has settled in the bottle.

This recipe is from an amazing couple who I’ve read about numerous times in previous countryfile magazines.

Here is their story:

Their website is called “Seasonal Table” (link below).

Kathy and Tom live on a little smallholding in the hills of rural Somerset in England, along with several hives of bees, a gaggle of six geese, and a multi-coloured flock of chickens. There is a little orchard and vegetable garden too. The Seasonal Table blog is all about their experiences of slow food and slow living. It is a journal of their seasonal recipes, featuring organically home grown, wild-harvested, or locally sourced ingredients, and a collection of our smallholding stories and activities.

Check out their website for more tasty, seasonal, healthy and easy recipes.

Faye xxx